Anais Nin claimed, very wisely, that we have to always be transforming and becoming… openly and freely. Our mistake, she explains, is that we desire to stay in the same place.. a certain death for sure, (as she so well pointed out). To be static is to die, we know this well. But Today, I can’t help thinking not only how right she really is, but also, how we sabotage our own personal growth and this process of becoming by not observing it and understanding it.
Nature itself is always changing, always growing, always expanding. Even our bodies are always changing, over time… evolving into a better form or into a slow decay. But psychologically, emotionally and spiritually, these changes are somewhat a little harder to accept and understand. Why is that? I wonder… is it that we are so accustomed to our own confort that we shy away from change? Or is that we want change, but only in the way that we envision it? I have a feeling that’s not how it goes at all…. to accept change is to accept both the good and the bad… wherever it may leed. Ahhhh isn’t that what scares us? The unknown? To change, to transform, to endlessly become is to constantly venture towards new destinations, both inwards and outwards…. into new feelings of bliss and sadness, into unchartered territories of storms and sunshine, into dazzling shooting stars and nights sleeping alone in the cold grass dwelling into the deepest corners of our souls. I sight…. that’s what scares us, because we know all too well, that with every change comes both harsh melancholia and beautiful bliss, a dazzling madness and the longest of tears.
But.. in this winter night, I find myself starring at the stars and at the darkenned night and allowing this becoming to become… wherever it may leed. Some people focus on the night… tonight I am looking only at the stars.
” Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” Anaïs Nin