A note on Alice, from Christopher’s journal, Part II.
” I just left her in her dream wonderland for a second, to get my computer, and I found myself missing her. How is it possible, to miss someone this badly when they are right next to you? I have no idea… and I really do not care…. All that matters is that I never let her go, because the second I do, is the second that I will die. I will fade into a void of darkness so vast that I will never get myself out of it. It’s all in her eyes… every single thing…. as she whispers ‘Just lie with me’. She’s only just beginning to realise it, but it’s all there. I let her be completely oblivious to everything, as she flies around in life, and just smile. She still needs more time, but it’s all there, written in between her smiled. Today the world stopped for moments that seemed to contain the whole universe…. We stopped time in a love sweeter than the magic from which it grew. We dissolved in each other. The only thing on my mind now is how I will build a life for us, just the two of us, in her wonderland…. laughing. I just took a picture of her, sleeping…. in her world…. she is so incredibly peaceful, its as if the world doesn’t exist at all; she has that smile… the one she does when she is dreaming, and the one that only I will ever get to see. The only evidence I ever needed in life was my feelings.… It was always pretty simple, since everything else meant nothing at all…. And now, with Her, even more so. I knew it from the very beginning, but still this intensity, this passion, this bliss… this love… it surprises me, overwhelms me and makes me feel like I am finally living. She is the best of me. We are each others halves. I think she will be my Unicorn. She won’t know it of course. But it will be her symbol, in me. The most wondrous of all mystical creatures… a creature of myth and beauty, white as light, flying around through the air…. a symbol of magic, miracles, purity, innocence and enchantment…. A creature worlds apart from the world itself. Yes… that will be her. My Unicorn. I know that it is this Love that has always been with me, composing my dreams. Nothing else matters, just us, and this Wonderland we seem to be living in. Enough ramblings… none of this will ever fade away from my memory anyway. So… now… I am going to go to sleep… holding her, and kissing her, and then I will fall asleep, back into our life.
Sometime between night and day…
The strangest thing happened sometime in the middle of the night… I woke up when she started moving… apparently, she was over on the other side of the bed… and as if nothing, she begun looking for me, under the covers ‘’ Love… ‘’ She whispered. My soul melted. I pulled her over to me, all in one fast move… she smiled, kissed me endlessly and then just said: ‘’ I missed you…. ‘’ Fuck. She melted my heart. I know the feeling… I still feel like I miss her, every moment I am with her. Now I am completely awake and I can’t go back to sleep… it’s like six in the morning. I’m editing some pictures and watching her sleep… I can still hear her whisper: ‘’ I missed you…. ‘’ It’s funny how her soul knows everything that she insists on not remembering. ”
Picture of the sculpture taken here.