This beautiful mess.

If I believed everything blindly, then there would be nothing to discover at all. No… I do not have blind faith. That is not my gift. I have a mind that loves to question, and an intuition that loves to chase the unknow. I have a heart that is always loving and a soul that is always dying to be free. That is my strength and that is my weakness… that I am both. That I am both human and angel like, that I live both on Earth and in heaven… that is my blessing and that is my curse.  I can never be really human and I can never be really an angel at all. That is who I am, that is who I will always be…. my heart laughs, it is a beautiful blessing indeed. My head cries, what a horrible way to live, never quite at home, always a stranger in both worlds. But my body, oh my body… it smiles and dances, because it is on earth, where it belongs. And my soul… ohh my soul…. she flies and flies throughout the heavens, freely and endlessly, where she belongs. So I live, in this beautiful mess of an in between… sometimes flying too high for my body to keep up, sometimes grounding myself too much for my soul to be able to live. But finally…. I seem to have found the perfect balance for this beautiful mess to thrive as it is supposed to. And so I linger here…. not so much longing, not so much craving… but just feeling all that there is to feel. I laugh in stars and cry in flowers. And finally for once everything is just fine….

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